Communication Breakdown

I was three months old. I could only just reach the worktop in the kitchen with my front paws. One of my bipeds was getting my lunch ready for me. I was really pleased about that. I thought that I would show my appreciation and maybe get her to do it a little bit faster. I started bouncing about and jumped up and put my paws on her waist and tapped her enthusiastically.

She put the things she was using down on the worktop and told me to sit. I pawed at her more enthusiastically and made some noises so that she would understand that I was in a hurry for my lunch. She turned away from me and went to the other side of the room and sat down. I hurried across and tapped her with my paw. She told me to sit. I tapped her leg harder and she again told me to sit. I didn’t want to sit, I was trying to tell her that I was in a hurry to get my lunch. I decided she might work it out if I nipped her knee. She got up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. I still hadn’t had my lunch!

She came back in the room after what seemed like an eternity. I heard her say later that it was just a few minutes. She went over to where my bowl was on the worktop and began preparing my lunch again. I jumped up again to show how pleased I was, hoping that she would hurry up. This time she just turned away from me and went to sit down and picked up a book. Oh dear! I laid down and put on my sad face while I thought about this.

I was still thinking about it when she got up again. This was hopeful! She told me to sit, which I did. She then started preparing my food again. I jumped up and started tapping her enthusiastically. She immediately stopped and went and sat down and picked up that book again and took no notice of me. I was having déjà vu – all over again! She just didn’t understand what I wanted at all, this was obvious. I would have to try something else! She sat there ignoring me for what seemed like ages this time.

She got up again and told me to sit. I sat, I was still thinking about what to do to get her to understand. She started preparing my food again. This was good, but what should I do to let her know I was pleased? She looked at me and said, “You’re being a good girl.”

This was confusing, all I was doing was sitting quietly. I hadn’t done anything to show how much I appreciated her getting my lunch! I sat there thinking about this and she finished preparing my lunch in no time at all. I was really pleased to get my lunch, I had quite an appetite by then.

We repeated a shortened version of this over the next couple of days. I worked out that the way to get the best response was to sit nicely with a very intent look upon my face. Bipeds sometimes don’t understand very direct and obvious communication, it’s strange. Communication with them requires a very subtle approach. If in doubt, I always try my prettiest sit with the most soulful expression I can manage.

See you next Wednesday!