Tips for training bipeds

These tips are written for puppies, but I think they can be adapted for general use by any quadrupeds wishing to train a biped. I’ve based them on my own experiences of the things that have worked for me.

The first time that a biped offers you a treat in return for doing something, you may be tempted to refuse if the treat isn’t particularly interesting. I think it’s worth accepting the treat to show that you are open to negotiation, as bipeds tend to decide you don’t understand if you refuse. It’s important to get them used to the idea of giving you rewards for doing little things for them. There will be ample opportunities for negotiating a better deal once they are accustomed to the idea.

Dog biscuit

You need to be patient and spend the first few weeks showing them how clever and adaptable you are. They will probably concentrate on asking for fairly easy things from you during this time. It’s simple to trade a sit for a treat and you need them to become comfortable with this before forcing them to think harder.

You may get taken to a puppy training class, or somewhere else with lots of people and distractions. This is an excellent time to make it clear that you are not satisfied with the treats they are using. Showing no interest whatsoever in the treat they are offering works reasonably well, but if you take the treat and then spit it out it gives a little more emphasis to the point you are making. It also gives them time to think about their shortcomings while they clean it up. I have seen the cats pretend that they are going to vomit when offered something they don’t like – this is very effective, but loses its dramatic effect if you do it too often!

Bone-shaped dog biscuits, treats

Tasty!

You should find that the quality of the treats goes up after this and you should show your appreciation by responding to their requests, but don’t let them get too complacent! It’s wise to reject the treats again after another week or so, this will make them offer you something even better. You can keep doing this to see what variations they will provide and then you can decide on your favourite, or you can decide you like them to keep varying the treats.

Bipeds have a tendency to get fixated on one thing that they wish to do well, such as giving you a treat for a sit. You can show your boredom in a number of ways. Sometimes I have wandered off to do something else until they find something more entertaining to do, sometimes I have flopped down and refused to move. At other times I have pretended I don’t understand the request.

Dog doing a play bow

A perfect demonstration of a play bow
By JorgeAlejanDroo (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

It can be difficult for bipeds to understand what we want of them, so always try to end a training session on a positive note. You have to try various things to see what works on your bipeds, but you could politely request that they play with you by doing a play bow. If that doesn’t cheer them up then rolling over on your back for your tummy to be rubbed never fails!

See you next Wednesday!

Fee-fi-fo-fum!

The male biped was putting things away in the kitchen and the female biped had gone outside. I decided the cats had the right idea and it was a good time for a nap. As I settled down I noticed that the male biped had left the kitchen and gone upstairs.

I was dozing when the female biped came back in. I heard her say something about spots of blood on the floor. The next thing I knew she was bending down by me checking my face and paws! She seems to think that I sometimes put my nose and paws where they don’t belong, so those are the parts most likely to be hurt. Then she went across to the cats and checked their faces and paws, apparently she doesn’t trust them to keep out of mischief either. Then she picked Mulberry up and checked him all over. Then it was Pippin’s turn.

The biped came back and knelt down by me. It was my turn – again! She took each of my paws and checked between all my toes. She looked at my face and in my ears and even in my mouth at my tongue! She asked me to stand up. I sighed because I wanted to go to sleep and I knew the blood wasn’t mine, but I knew she’d persist so I stood up. She checked me all over. She said that she couldn’t see anything wrong with me. I could have told her that!

Clowie, Pyrenean Mountain Dog, sleeping

Can’t you read? I was trying to sleep!

She was about to take another look at Mulberry and Pippin when the male biped came downstairs and asked what was going on. She replied that she’d found some blood on the kitchen floor and was trying to find out which of us had a cut. I think she should try using her nose! The giant from “Jack and the Beanstalk” could have sniffed his way to the source of the blood in no time at all!

The male biped said that we were all fine and she should let us take our naps. She replied that one of us must have a cut or graze and she wanted to make sure it was cleaned and we were okay. He stood there with a sheepish expression on his face and held his thumb up to show a new plaster on it. He explained that he’d cut himself while putting things away in the kitchen and had gone up to the bathroom to get a plaster.

The female biped then went to the treat jar and took out a treat for me. She also gave Mulberry and Pippin some cat treats. The male biped wanted to know why he didn’t get a treat when it was him that had the cut! She told him that he was perfectly capable of getting a treat for himself and it was all his fault that she’d been looking for a cut on one of us in the first place! I don’t think she really meant it because a moment later she asked him if he was okay and then made him a mug of tea. He does enjoy a big mug of sweet tea!

See you next Wednesday!

The dog who cried wolf

I was keeping an eye on my bipeds who were preparing food in the kitchen, when I heard them say that it was all ready to go in the oven. They decided that one of them could take me for a walk while the other one watched the food. I’m usually enthusiastic when the word “walk” is mentioned, but I didn’t get straight up to go out.

The biped got ready and called me to the door and attached my lead. She called out “goodbye” and we set off. We had only walked a few yards when I started to limp. We stopped and the biped knelt down and I gave her my paw. I had a sorrowful look on my face. She took my paw and looked at it and she felt between my toes. She felt along my leg and put it down.

She said, “I can’t see anything, Clowie. Try a step or two and see if it still hurts.”

I put my paw down and hobbled a few paces. Then I stopped and gave her a mournful look. She knelt down and checked my paw again.

She said, “I don’t know what the problem is, Clowie. We’d better go back.”

Androcles' lion with bandaged paw

My poor paw!
Androcles’ Lion, Duthie Park Winter Gardens (Aberdeen, Scotland)
Attribution: Paul Chapman [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

We returned slowly. She opened the door and we went in. She detached my lead and I dashed to the kitchen and took up position by the oven to wait until the pheasant was cooked. The biped followed me. She stood in the doorway and looked at me for a moment. I could tell she knew that I had been faking the limp – I’d done it once before, but I’ll tell you about that another time.

She said, and at this point puppies should cover their ears for a moment, “You are a bad dog.”

Yes, that’s what she said. B.A.D. Bad! You can uncover your ears now, puppies. They hardly ever say that to me and it worries me when they do. Then she told me to get out of the kitchen. I hesitated because I really wanted to keep my nose in the vicinity of the pheasant and the other delightful smells. She said, “now” in a stern voice, so I left the kitchen with head and tail held low.

She told me that I was like the boy who cried wolf and that I wouldn’t get help when I needed it. That was obviously a whopping great fib! They’re always worried and rush to help me if there’s something wrong.

They left me on my own for a few minutes. When they called me to go and join them, I leapt up and scurried into the room. They wanted me to do some of my tricks. I did them as well as I could and I pretended not to notice that they were being stingy with the treats! It was worth it because it wasn’t long before I heard the words “good girl” and I became excited and then they made a fuss of me.

I knew I had a full pardon when I was given a tiny piece of pheasant later. I’ve never pretended to be hurt since then, but I have walked as slowly as possible occasionally when they’ve chosen to go the wrong way on a walk!

See you next Wednesday!

A sit in time saves nine

Before I tell you this week’s tale, I want to tell you about two cats that need homes.

Leo has been nursed back to health by Savannah and her family. He now needs a home of his own in the California area. So head on over to Savannah’s Paw Tracks and read about him. He has a special page on Savannah’s blog explaining what he needs from the people who care for him.

Leo, in need of a home

Leo, in need of a home

Basil, in Yorkshire, England, is still looking for a home for a young cat called Mary – more information here.

Mary needs a home

Mary needs a home

This week’s tale

One of the very first things that one of my bipeds taught me as a puppy was to sit. She held a treat close to my nose and, before I could take it, she lifted her hand slightly and moved it above my head. My nose was following the treat and, as I tilted my head back, I sat. She gave me the treat and told me how clever I was. This was such an easy way to get a treat!

We repeated this quite a few times over the next few days. When she could tell I knew what she was going to do and what I needed to do to get the treat, she added the word ‘sit’. I soon remembered the word because I liked the treats. I then began learning lots of other things, but every training session started and ended with a sit. I was also asked to sit at odd times during the day. I didn’t get a treat every time, sometimes I was given a fuss or we played a game for a few minutes. But I always knew it would be worth my while to do as asked, they seemed to like sit a lot.

I decided I could use this to my advantage. When I wanted something I would sit. They told me I was very good and encouraged me to do this. I soon discovered that when I heard them say ‘sit’ to me I no longer had to consider whether I should comply or not – it was always worth it! It became an automatic response, my bottom would hit the deck before the thought had registered in my brain.

But now I come to the downside of sitting so readily. This is a warning to any puppies reading this – make sure that the rewards are worth it because there will be things it stops you from doing.

If only we hadn't been told to sit! (From guzer.com)

If only we hadn’t been asked to sit!
(From guzer.com)

I told you last week about when I was trying to chase some goats – I was asked to sit and I didn’t get to chase them very far. I’ll give you a few other examples of things I haven’t been able to do because I was asked to sit. If I’ve ever been on my way across the kitchen to investigate what’s on the counter, I hear “Clowie, sit!” before I can get there. It’s the same story when visitors arrive, “Clowie, sit!” – how’s a dog to give bipeds a proper greeting while sitting? It’s impossible to leap all over them and lick their faces! If they’ve left the front door open while they’re bringing in some shopping and it occurs to me it would be nice to pop out and investigate – yes, you’ve guessed, “Clowie, sit!”

One day, just after I’d been asked to sit when there was something exciting to do, I heard one of my bipeds say, “Isn’t ‘sit’ wonderful? There isn’t much mischief a puppy can get into while sitting!”

That was obviously their cunning plan all along! They have used ‘sit’ to modify my behaviour. But I have also worked it to my advantage. I have perfected a really pretty sit that they find very hard to resist. When I hear them open the fridge door, I can get there from anywhere in the house in less than five seconds. I’m usually right behind them, in my pretty sit, before they can close the door again. I don’t always get something, but sometimes I do and there’s never any harm in asking! My lead hangs on a hook and if I sit with my nose touching the lead, I usually get a walk. I think it’s worked out fairly well.

See you next Wednesday!

P.S. If you were wondering about the title, there’s a saying “a stitch in time saves nine” and it means that a timely effort will prevent more work later.