I was travelling through the Lake District, North West England, with my bipeds and we decided to take a break and stretch our legs. We stopped by a lake and the male biped said he’d join us soon, but he wanted to rearrange some of the luggage in the car as something was making a noise. I was keen to investigate, so I set off with the female biped.
We made our way down to the shore and strolled along. I found some interesting smells to sniff, but my biped said I should leave it as it was only duck poop – as though I didn’t know what I was sniffing! After about fifteen minutes we began to wonder why the male biped hadn’t caught up with us and we turned back to find out. A strange sight met our eyes!
The male biped was standing on a rock, keeping his crisps out of reach of a swan! The female biped laughed and took a photograph.
The male biped said, “It isn’t funny! He’s quite aggressive and it hurts when he pecks me!”
When I saw the swan move and peck the biped’s legs, I decided I should go and help. So the female biped decided she needed both hands free to make sure that I didn’t, which meant she couldn’t take any more photographs.
The male biped said, “The swan suddenly appeared and tried to snatch the crisps. I turned and started walking away and then he came at me making a hissing noise, with his wings flapping, so I hopped up here thinking he’d get bored and go away. But that doesn’t seem to be working!”
As he was speaking, another swan came waddling up and joined the first one. Things were getting serious! So I made another attempt to go to his aid, but the female biped told me to wait.
The male biped said, “I think it would be better if you took Clowie back up to the car.”
She said, “Okay, we don’t want a bad situation getting any worse, but what are you going to do?”
The male replied, “I’m thinking about a small distraction and then legging it as fast as I can!”
The female biped asked, “Distraction?”
The male biped waved the packet of crisps and said, “I didn’t want to give him any as he’ll think he can go around mugging people for food, but I can’t think of anything else to do.”
The female said, “He already knows he can mug people for food!”
I wanted to stay to help the male biped, but I walked back up to the road as requested. We saw the male biped make a show of dropping a few crisps on one side of the rock to get the attention of the swans. As soon as they bent over to get the crisps, he hopped down on the other side and started running towards us.
When he reached the steps he paused to look back. He should know that you never look back! Sure enough, the swans had eaten the crisps and were following him. I gave a warning woof and the male biped realised his mistake and ran up the steps, leaving the hissing and flapping swans behind.
The usual reason for a swan to be aggressive is in defence of a nest, but the bipeds said that they weren’t planning to stay and explain to these swans that they shouldn’t be mugging people for food!
See you next Wednesday!