Love Me Tender

I used to get bored with training when I was a puppy. So I encouraged my bipeds to think of new tricks to liven up our sessions. This is a tale of how one of our tricks didn’t work out quite as expected.

I was five months old and I already knew a few tricks. The male biped said he was going to be away on business all week. My bipeds had a chat about what tricks I could learn in the week and he suggested “high fives”.

I had a couple of practice sessions with the female biped and then she stopped including it in our training sessions, so I knew I’d mastered that trick really quickly! I was looking forward to demonstrating it at the weekend. We continued to work on me crawling and rolling over and all the boring things that I already knew – like sit and stay.

Friday evening arrived and the male biped came home – I was so pleased to see him! I showed him that I could crawl and that I could roll over – he made a fuss of me and gave me some treats. Then he said, “I thought you were going to teach Clowie high fives. Can she do it yet?”

I couldn’t believe what the female biped had to say! She said, “She has lots of enthusiasm, but she’s still very clumsy. I’ve given up on that for now as she’s altogether too handy with her paws anyway!”

Too handy with my paws – that doesn’t even make sense!

He said, “Can I try?”

She said, “Yes, but it hurts when she hits you with her paw!”

He replied, “Well, it can be my trick with Clowie then.”

The female biped said that would be fine. It’s strange how many meanings ‘fine’ has, particularly when a female biped says it! He knelt down on the floor, I was sitting. He put a hand up and said, “High fives!”

I was keen to show him how well I could do it. I put my paw up and it connected with his chest. He smiled and tried again. I tried slightly more enthusiastically and tapped him on the shoulder. He spoke to the female biped, “I think I see what you mean! I’ll leave it till she’s a bit older.”

He stood up. I was very keen to show him that I could do much better, so I put my paw up as hard as I could, even though he hadn’t asked me to. He suddenly doubled up, he made some very strange noises and his face went bright red. He looked as though he was in excruciating pain! The female put her hand on his shoulder and said, “Are you okay?” He nodded, but he was still making odd noises and he stayed doubled over.

She looked across at me. I was still sitting nicely. I had my head on one side because I was trying to work out what was going on. She turned away and I could see her shoulders start to shake. The male biped was now trying to stand up normally. He said, “It’s no use turning away – I can tell you’re laughing!”

She turned round and she was laughing out loud now. She said, “I’m sorry, but it is funny!”

He said, “Not so much for me! Is there any chance of a cup of tea, please?”

A cup of tea! Excellent idea! That always puts a biped to rights – whatever the problem. After he’d sat and had his cup of tea, he started to look much better again. I thought he might like to work on our high five again, so I tapped him on the leg with my paw. He pulled away and said, “Oh no, you keep your paws to yourself, until asked.”

The strange thing is, he’s never asked me to do high fives since that day. Not ever. Not even once.

See you next Wednesday!

93 thoughts on “Love Me Tender

  1. Clowie! I could do with you and your paws right now. You are the answer. Or maybe not. After all, you are a big dog too and you might like the new giant (in my eyes) puppy who has entered our homes and then I would be in a worse fix.
    I need a really feisty Jack Russell.
    High Five Clowie – ha! you missed – I’m too small for you 🙂

    • I probably would like him – I love all puppies, but I would gently tell him not to frighten you. You have to tell him some rules, he just wants to be your friend.

  2. Felled by a high five! Poor male biped 😉

  3. I think we should try the idea with a cup of tea too…. whatever the problem :o)))))

  4. They are never satisfied Clowie, sounds like you mastered the “HIgh Fives ” down to a T !! BOL xx00xx
    Mollie and Alfie

  5. But it was your special trick with daddy??!! I think you should request you try again and again and again!! My female typist is also sniggering, in fact she laughed out loud at the idea of your dad making a strange noise when bent over double!
    I don’t know why your mum or my typist found it quite so amusing!! Strange aint they!!

  6. Clowie, great story about learning tricks… I too was taught the “high five” a natural way to ask for my paw, I think…, however my old biped wanted me to do the trick with “handshake please” Saying that was the proper way to do the trick and much more British! However my biped, being an American, just like me…taught me to give a good high five!

    • Thank you! I also give my paw when asked to “shake hands”, I do that gently. The “high five” seemed much more exciting. It’s a shame he went off the idea!

  7. BOL funny story Clowie. More low five rather than high five. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

  8. Oops! That trick turned naughty. Be careful what you wish for, Bipeds!

    Love and licks,

  9. Hi Clowie, Badger Boo here, I think you did your high fives very well, it’s not your fault if your hoomans are too fragile for your big fluffy paws BOL.

    I did jump on my daddys lap once and he reacted something similar to yours, what is it with them male hoomans? BOL


  10. Oh Clowie, that strategically aimed “high five” certainly did the trick…..! Good aim girlfriend! 😉

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

  11. Oh dear Clowie that probably wasn’t a good thing to do. Too funny. It is understandable that there will not be any more High Fives. Take care.

  12. Great story Clowie! Made me smile 😀

  13. That was hilarious! Your Momma must have been in hysterics! I guess your Daddy just had to find out for himself……the hard way of course! LOL!

  14. LOL! Those high fives can be dangerous sometimes!

  15. Tee Hee Clowie,

    Have they heard of the phrase – “Be careful what you wish for?!” 🙂

    Wags to all,

    Your pal Snoopy 🙂

  16. We think that trick could be VERY useful!
    The Maple Syrup Mob.

  17. I saw you had commented over on Animal Couriers page and was curious about you Clowie! Glad I stopped by. Love the term “bipeds”.

  18. Hey Clowie, Jet here.

    Mom’s laughing too… not at your male biped, with you! We think you’re a super fast learner and boy, you’ve got quite a repertoire VBP of tricks! Great post!

  19. For Christmas, you should ask the female biped to buy your man some protection. Then he could get back to practicing with you. 🙂

    • That’s a very good idea! I’m not sure that we’ll be able to convince him though – he’s decided that trick is dangerous.

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